The Man in the Long Black Coat, Chapter Fifteen

Edward ripped the door from its hinges as he burst into the cabin.

"Fuck fuck fuck!"

No one said a word.

He pounded his fists on the table, cracking it right down the middle. He put his head in his hands and sat down.

Alice stepped forward while the rest of the family stayed outside, waiting for Carlisle to get back. "Nothing's happened yet," she said. "Besides, even if he dies, you were acting in self-defense. It wasn't your fault. You were defending the woman you love, Edward. That's never wrong. It was just an accident."

"There is no such thing as accident; it is fate misnamed."

"What's that mean?"

"Napoleon. It means there are no accidents. It means that I am who I am. There's no point in trying to deny it."

"It'll be OK," Bella said. A bruise was forming on her cheek where Tyler had hit her. She approached Edward, put one arm around his shoulders and rested her head on his. "Dr. Cullen might be able to save him. Maybe he won't die."

"You don't know," he said. "You don't know what it's like to feel a man's life leech away under your fist. I do. Tyler is already dead. There's nothing Carlisle or anyone else can do about it."

"But you didn't mean to hurt him," she said. "That has to count for something."

Edward laughed and stood up. "Do you really think that'll make a difference? Aro won't care. He has no sense of right and wrong left. He is a sadistic son of a bitch. He'll point to the agreement and he'll rightly note that I've broken it.

"He's hated me for years. He'll do anything he can to get back at me for not joining his council. He’ll either make me join or kill me. That's the reality."

Bella rubbed his back with the palm of her hand.

"They'll find out soon," he said. "The longer I stay here, the more danger I put you in." He stopped and looked toward the broken front door, knowing the Cullens were listening. "All of you."

"What's that mean?" Bella asked, her voice rising in pitch. "What? You're going to leave? Just like that?"

"It's not as easy as you make it sound," he said. "But there is nothing anyone can do. It's the only way to make sure you're safe, and it doesn’t have to be forever. The Volturi will come. Soon. There is no doubt about that. There were dozens of witnesses. Word will get back to them. The more attention that gets drawn to you, the more danger you're in."

"We can protect you." Carlisle walked through the front door. He motioned for the rest of them to remain outside.

"That's bullshit and you know it," Edward said. "You said it yourself, Carlisle. You and Aro don't get along. You have an uneasy peace. I can't risk shattering that. There will be no war on my account."

He read Carlisle's thoughts and knew what he was going to say next. He'd known it already, anyway.

"I couldn't save Tyler. No one could," Carlisle said. "I had to leave when the police arrived. Before they could question me."

"Charlie," Bella said.

"Yes. I think it would be best if he heard an explanation from you, Bella. The crowd did not seem disposed to paint you and your new friends in a sympathetic light."

"Shit," she said. "How can I explain any of this? I definitely can't tell him the truth. Fairy tales about vampires? He'd have me locked up. Maybe I could say, 'Oh, dad, my boyfriend is a nice guy. Sure, he's killed three people, but they were bad people. And one of them was totally in self-defense.'

"Not only would he have me locked up, he'd probably disown me."

Carlisle stood quietly by. The look on his face revealed that he was deep in thought. Edward scanned his mind and smiled.

"That's not a bad idea, Carlisle," he said.

"What’s not a bad idea?" Alice replied.

"Why don't you tell them, Carlisle?"

Carlisle hesitated. "It is disquieting to have you reading my mind in my own home, Edward. But I will forgive you. I imagine one cannot possess such a gift without giving in to what must be a crushing desire to use it."

Alice called everyone else inside.

"Quit stalling, Carlisle, and tell us what you're thinking," she said.

"Well." He cleared his throat. "What if Edward did leave?"

Bella began to speak up, but Alice shushed her with a look.

Edward leaned in, ready to hear Carlisle's plan put into words.

"We have scores of safe houses like this one all over the world. He could reside in one, for a while, then move on if he sensed someone getting close. We'd have to tell the Volturi something, of course. Perhaps -"

"Tell them the truth," Edward said. "Or a version of it, anyway. Tell them that I snapped and killed this boy and then I took off. You have no idea where I went. Tell them I went rogue."

"It won't work," Alice said. "Aro can read all of our memories, remember? He'll know about this very conversation."

Edward smiled. "But I won't tell you where I'm going. I would move from house to house, always staying a step ahead. He'll never find me. I'm quite good at hiding. I've learned how to deal with the likes of Demetri and James."

“But what about me? Us?" Bella said. "How long would you be gone? And why can't I come with you?"

“Bella. We can’t. I can’t. You belong here, with your family. I won’t take you away from that.”

“Now who’s talking bullshit? Huh? I’m an adult, Edward. I hardly know Charlie, anyway. We don’t talk. I was on my way out of this place when you showed up. Remember that? You’re the only reason I’m still here. If you leave, I’m coming with you. I have nothing left here. I never really did."

"Charlie loves you more than you know," Edward said. "You have no right to do that to him."

They glared at one another.

“Well,” Alice said, soundly falsely chipper, “I have sooo much to do. Outside. With everyone else.” She made eye contact, one-by-one. “Let's go.”

They left Edward and Bella alone.

"Are you serious?" Edward asked. "You'd really want to come with me, spend the rest of your life on the road? Never see Charlie again? Never see Forks?"

"If it means I get to stay with you," she said, edging closer, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, "then yes."

Edward put his arms around her waist and kissed the top of her head. He took in her scent, remembering the powerful urge it caused the first time he smelled it. He didn't want to imagine living without it.

"Despite myself, I want you to come, Bella.” He smiled into her hair. "I can't explain it. But I can’t spend my life without you. I'll do whatever it takes."

"It's crazy, isn't it?” she said. “I wouldn’t let you leave without me. From now on, I go where you go. Deal?"

"It'll be dangerous, you know. Life on the road isn't easy. And for a human? There are so many reasons to be concerned. The Volturi chief among them. The moment it's known that I've taken a human, they'll double their efforts to find me. Involving a human in our affairs is breaking the Volturi's cardinal rule.

"If you think what Felix did to me was unpleasant, I hope you never have the misfortune of meeting Jane." He shuddered thinking about her, a vampire whose gift allowed her to cause immeasurable pain simply by looking at someone. She gave the term "bitch-face" a whole new meaning.

"Don't worry about me," she said, smirking. "I can take care of myself." She reached up and kissed him on the mouth, and Edward finally let her in. He parted his lips and searched for her tongue with his.

Bella broke away laughing. "God, it's so cold!"

"I've been dead for nearly a hundred years," he said, laughing. "It makes no sense, I know. Vampires, somehow, seem to break the second law of thermodynamics. We're not exactly alive, and yet we live. We move about, and yet we generate no heat."

"You are so fucking weird, Edward." She laughed and embraced him once more.

"I know I've brought it up before, and you refused," she said. "But maybe we could talk about making me like you. I'd be safer on the road. We wouldn't have to worry so much about the Volturi finding us. And besides, I have a theory."

Edward broke away. "I wouldn't do that to my worst enemy. I've never turned a human, and I certainly won't start now. Not with you."

"Don't you want to hear my theory first, before you make any rash decisions."

"No. I'm not the one talking about rash decisions. The matter is settled. I won't turn you into a vampire, Bella. End of discussion."

"We'll see," she said. "But I get it. I really do. So, let's talk about where we're going. What should I pack? How will we travel? How long will it take to get there? How long will we stay?"

"Slow down. We're not leaving just yet. You have to say goodbye to Charlie. And you have to make it believable. The last thing we need is an APB out on us. The FBI, your mugshot on billboards all over the country. Fuck, CNN, for Christ's sake."

She smiled wide and flung her arms out, twisting in a circle as she flailed around the room.

"We're really gonna do it, aren't we? I can't believe it, Edward. Two months ago I was ready to end it all. But now? Even with a pack of vampires after me, even though I won't be able to see Charlie again, I can't imagine a better life. A life with you. It's like a dream come true."

Bella invited everyone back inside.

"So it appears that you've come to a decision?" Carlisle said once they told him their plans. "Are you sure that's wise?"

"We'll be fine," Edward said firmly, cutting off any further discussion. "I'll make the arrangements. Bella will go see Charlie. Would it be possible for one of you to accompany her, discreetly, in case the Volturi show up? I don't think it's a good idea for me to be in public right now."

"I'd be glad to do it," Emmett said.

Bella practically squealed. "It's late. I should get home. I have to pack, and I have to talk to Charlie.”

“What are you going to tell him?” Alice asked.

“Don’t worry,” Bella said. “I know exactly how to push his buttons.”

Edward said goodbye to her on the front porch. He kissed her deeply and watched as she and Emmett drove away in the Denali. He hoped that Charlie believed whatever story Bella came up with, but he knew that was unlikely. Charlie didn't strike him as that naive. No. He was a dedicated cop, smart and resourceful. A war veteran, Bella had said. And a loving father who'd already seen his daughter suffer immeasurable trauma.

The likelihood was that Charlie would never give up the search. Edward knew that he would be branded a murderer and a kidnapper, whether it happened immediately or after the investigation grew. Maybe Charlie would dig up security footage from the bar. He’d plaster Edward’s photograph all over town. The networks would pick it up. Not only would he spend eternity on the run from the Volturi, but he'd have to elude the police, as well. Before long, one or the other would track them down.

For Bella's sake, he hoped it would be the police.

He and Bella would be better off, he grudgingly realized, if he disposed of Charlie before leaving town.

-30-

A/N I'll keep it short and simple this time. MazzyStarla makes the world go 'round. Edward is off his fucking rocker. And Bella might have finally found a pair of rose-colored glasses. Let’s hope they don't blind her to reality.

Until next time ...

The Man in the Long Black Coat, Chapter Fourteen

“Edward, would you mind sitting and talking for a moment? As you’ve probably surmised, the ladies are getting ready upstairs. Emmett and Jasper are out, procuring dinner.”

Carlisle motioned toward the sofa.

Edward closed the front door and took a seat. He heard Alice’s shrieks upstairs as she, Bella and Rosalie got dressed for the evening. It was to be a celebration of him going almost an entire month without feeding on a human. He'd been dreading it. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd been out with a group of people. Since before he was turned, certainly.

"I regret that this is our first chance to talk," Carlisle said. He smiled warmly. "You've shown extraordinary strength, doing as well as you've done. Your display of restraint outside the gas station was remarkable, I'm told. Jasper is impressed. And he doesn't impress easily."

"Can we cut the chit-chat, Dr. Cullen?" Edward pulled at the collar of his tee-shirt. "With all due respect, what is it you want to say to me?"

"Our truce with the Volturi," Carlisle said. "It's complicated. Aro and I have known one another for centuries. Let's just say there's no love lost between us."

Edward shifted in his seat. He scanned Carlisle's mind. It was nothing but a jumble of words and broken images.

"It comes down to this, Edward. The Volturi and my family share the same goal: Coexistence with humans. We all realize that to be in the open isn't an option. We'd either be hunted and slaughtered as a species, or we'd be forced to turn the main food supply into competitors. Under such a scenario, of course, vampires would quickly outnumber humans. Eventually, there'd be nothing left to feed on but livestock and wild animals. That's not sufficient to support an expanded vampire population. The bottom line is, we would cease to exist as a species. We would all starve to death.

"Although we agree on the goal, Aro and I differ on how we go about achieving it. While he and the council believe it’s natural to continue to feed on humans, however discretely, we’ve come to the realization that doing so presents too much of a danger to our kind.

"We were on the verge of battle several centuries ago, long before your time. But we worked out what has come to be an uneasy agreement: The Volturi would act as a quasi-police force in our world, disciplining vampires who present a danger, who risk exposing us all through carelessness. Or worse."

Edward bristled.

"My family and I would seek to change vampire culture from within. We, as a species, are perfectly capable of surviving on animal blood, as you have come to know in this last month. So long as we don't overpopulate the planet. We believe it's not only the right way to live, but it's the only way to ensure our long-term survival.

"This is where you come in."

"How so?" Edward asked. "As of tomorrow, I’ll be done with my required month. Can't I move on now? Am I not a free man?"

Carlisle smiled uncomfortably. "You have a history with the Volturi, do you not? With Aro, specifically?"

Edward rose from his chair. "You've been in contact with him. About me? My past? How dare you."

"Calm down, please," Carlisle said. "Aro told me nothing specific, I assure you. But I've known the man for quite a long time, Edward. He isn't difficult to read, even without your extraordinary ability. He seemed quite interested in you. Too interested." He phrased this last part almost like a question.

Edward tried to force the memory away, but it was too late. It seeded in his mind and he knew it would continue to grow there all night if he didn't give it some release.

"I struggled, after I was turned. For years, Carlisle. My initial plans didn't work out. As I've said, I thought I could kill only the vile, the depraved. But it turned out that when you can see a man's every thought, everyone is evil.

"And so I went on a rampage that lasted longer than most human lives. I'd heard of the Volturi, of course. Who hasn't? I was aware of the council's policing authority. But I didn't care. I killed whomever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I terrorized small towns and big cities alike. Newspaper headlines followed me across the country. Serial killers got blamed for many of my deeds.

"I laughed it off. I saw it as my right, killing humans. It was my revenge for what had been done to me. To a certain extent, I still see it that way."

He sat back down on the sofa and unconsciously rubbed the scar on his cheek.

"But everything changed about twenty years ago. I could no longer be indiscriminate. Eventually, I noticed that the Volturi would sometimes show up not long after I'd left some town or another. Soon, they began showing up before I'd had my fill. Because of my ability, I was always able to stay ahead of them.

"But for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how they knew. How they'd become so successful at finding me."

"It was the Internet," Carlisle said.

"Yes," Edward replied. "I'd been so wrapped up in my world for all those years, I wasn't more than superficially aware of its existence. But by the mid-1990s, virtually every newspaper in America had a website. Stories of murder and mayhem got the clicks, so to speak. The reading public ate it up."

"As did the Volturi," Carlisle said.

"Indeed. It made finding rogues like me easy."

Edward put his head in his hands and sighed. He heard Emmett and Jasper enter through the back door, but they knew enough to respect Edward's privacy. They simply nodded as they passed, and headed upstairs.

"When they sent James, the tracker, I thought I could outsmart him," Edward continued. "I'd always been able to use my mind to stay one step ahead.

"But he was too good. He found me, and he summoned backup. Felix, Jane, even Aro himself showed up."

"What did they do to you?"

"Aro put his hands on me while Felix held me down. I'll never forget his words: 'That is the saddest memory I have ever had the fortune to behold,' he told me. 'It is quite delicious.’

“He relished my pain, Carlisle. The sick fuck insisted I join them. I laughed in his face, of course. They tortured me. Weeks. Months. I don't know how much time passed. The truth is, I don't even remember all the details. It wasn't the first time I wished I were dead, but up until then, I don't think I really meant it.

"After they let me go, with a promise to keep an eye on me, I knew I had to change. It was simple self-preservation. I learned to cover my tracks. I learned not to stay in one place too long. I kept the cops away by making sure I left no evidence. I avoided the press at all costs, even going so far as to carry the corpses of my victims on my shoulders as I left town in the middle of the night. Sometimes, I’d carry them a hundred miles through darkness before I found a safe place to dispose of them.

"And it's worked for me, this new lifestyle. Until I got here.” Edward paused. “I became careless. Distracted. One thing led to another, and I guess you know the rest.”

He took in a breath and sighed. "Looking back on it all, I do know this: I shed no tears when Bella got rid of Felix."

"Are you talking about me again, Edward?"

Bella strode down the stairway with a smirk on her face. She wore black leggings, a long, form-fitting tee-shirt and a jean jacket that was buttoned at her waist. She'd ditched the black Converse in favor of black heels.

Edward stood up and simply stared, hardly noticing Alice and Rosalie following Bella down the stairs.

Carlisle stood and leaned toward Edward. "She is a vision, Edward. Remember that. It will help you get through the hard times. You've shown before that you're capable of changing your ways. Let's prove that you can do it again."

Bella walked up to Edward and hooked her arm through his. She reached up and kissed him on the cheek as the other couples gathered near the door. She wiped a smudge of lipstick from Edward’s face with her thumb. He frowned. “Don’t worry,” she whispered in his ear as she moved her hand down to his chest. “It comes off easily. That’ll come in handy later.”

He was about to reply when Carlisle spoke. "Shall we go?"

Bella pulled Edward out the door, and he had to admit, he had butterflies in his stomach. He realized he was actually looking forward to having a good time. Remarkable.

The bar and restaurant was only a ten-minute drive into town. They loaded up into Carlisle’s GMC Yukon Denali, a huge, luxurious SUV. Once they arrived, they crowded into a booth near the back, away from most of the Friday night crowd.

Alice jumped up seconds after taking her seat. "Who wants to dance? Edward? Bella?"

Edward pretended not to hear her. Alice rolled her eyes.

"I'll dance with you, Alice," Bella said. She scooted past Edward, brushing her backside across his lap. When she was out of the booth, she turned back toward him and smiled. "Lighten up. We're here for you, Edward. To celebrate you." She leaned over and put her forehead against his. "I'm going to make sure you have a good time tonight," she whispered against his lips. "Whether you like it or not."

She walked onto the dance floor, where Alice was already moving to the music. Bella sneaked up behind her and put her hands on Alice's waist. They moved together, their hips swaying, Alice's hands running through her short hair.

Edward worried, in spite of himself. He noticed the men in the bar starting to pay attention to them. He didn't like attention.

"I'm going to stop them," he said, getting up for the table.

"Relax, Edward. Let them have their fun," Jasper said. Edward sat back down. “Alice has been waiting fifty years for a girlfriend like Bella.” He moved in closer, smiling as he whispered. “Rose doesn’t quite fit the bill.”

Rosalie and Emmett were lost in their own world, Edward noticed. They weren't paying any attention.

He was still uneasy. He began scanning random thoughts in the room, on the lookout for danger. It was a habit that had served him well. He saw no reason to abandon it now.

Someone was thinking about Bella. Who? He looked around.

Jessica Stanley. She was with a whole group of underage kids. Most of them looked half-drunk. Some were way beyond that.

Edward focused as Bella and Alice kept dancing. One of the guys with Jessica leaned in to talk to her.

"What's got your panties in a wad?" Edward heard him say.

"Fucking bitch," Jessica said. "I know she knows what happened to Mike. She was trying to get me to leave him. She was making up a bunch of stories about Mike. Probably wanted him for herself."

"You should do something about it," the guy sitting with her said. Edward knew he was Tyler Crowley, another recent Forks High graduate. He was nearly as tall as Edward, about six feet one, with tan skin and an athletic build.

"Like what, Tyler?” Jessica said. “I mean, her dad's the fucking police chief. Even if she did have something to do with it, there's no way anybody’ll do anything about it."

"We could do something about it ourselves. Mike was a good friend."

Jessica laughed. "Yeah, sure. I'll just ask her and she'll be honest with me. Tell me right where to find his body."

"I'm sure I could persuade her, if I have to."

Jessica gave Tyler a devious smile.

"But what about that group she came in with? I don't know who they are, but the big guy looks like he could be dangerous."

"Don't worry about them," Tyler said. "I'll take care of the tall one in the coat. My boys can handle the big guy and the other one. You deal with Bella."

Edward knew it was time to go. He walked up to Bella and Alice, concerned.

"We have to leave," he said.

"Oh, don't be such a party-pooper, Eddie," Bella said. She grabbed his hands and pulled him to her. He resisted, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a kiss on his mouth.

Edward pulled away. "I'm glad you’re having fun, Bella. I really am. But we need to go. Now." He nodded toward Jessica and her group. "They're talking about confronting you. They think you had something to do with Mike’s disappearance."

Bella laughed. "What are they gonna do? Arrest me?"

"I think they mean to do you harm."

"He's right, Bella," Alice said. "We should go. We can continue the party at home. It’ll be fun."

They gathered up everyone else and headed outside. Jessica and her friends were there already.

"You don't want to do this," Emmett said, stepping between the two groups.

Jasper went for the car. Edward knew they would need to make a quick escape before things escalated. The last thing they needed was a fight with a bunch of drunks.

“You fucking whore!” Jessica screamed, throwing her beer at Bella. Edward caught the mug in mid-air and crushed it in his hand. Glass shards rained onto the pavement.

No one spoke for half a minute.

“No more,” Edward said, calmly staring at Jessica. “You will leave, and you will live another day. Do you understand?”

Jessica stammered in response. “Yeah. We’ll go. We’ll go now.”

“Fuck that,” Tyler said, awkwardly stepping forward. “She owes us some answers.”

“You don’t want to continue,” Edward said. “Trust me.”

“And who the fuck are you?” the boy said. He stumbled forward, so drunk he could hardly stand up straight. Emmett caught him before he hit the ground. Edward could tell Emmett was being careful not to hurt him.

Tyler twisted free and swung at Edward. Edward automatically ducked the punch, only to see it connect squarely with Bella’s face.

An animal instinct took over then. Edward was not in control of what happened next. Before he knew it, before Bella had even hit the ground, Edward had already returned the punch. He was as surprised as anyone else when it landed on Tyler's face. He hit the teen so hard, he felt Tyler’s orbital bone shatter. He collapsed to the ground at exactly the moment Edward caught Bella before she hit the concrete.

“Holy shit! You killed him!” Jessica screamed. Chaos ensued. The rest of the crowd ran, some into the parking lot, others back inside the bar.

Carlisle bent over the unconscious teenager as Jasper skidded the Denali to a stop at the curb.

“Get in,” Carlisle said, looking at Edward. “Now. Take them back to the cabin. I have to help this boy.”

He remained bent over Tyler as Edward carried Bella to the Yukon. Everyone else had already piled inside.

Edward’s last vision as the car pulled away was of Carlisle giving CPR to Tyler.

If Tyler died, Edward realized, the Volturi would have every reason to come after him.

-30-

A/N I’m going to take this opportunity to write a way-too-long author’s note so I can thank each and every one of you who’s reviewed my story. I simply can’t believe so many of you like what I’m doing here. To reach 700-plus reviews without a hint of a lemon anywhere? I’m blown away.

On that note, I need to tell you this: It’s become really hard for me to reply to every review, as I’ve been doing from the beginning. It’s taking away my writing time, which I don’t want. I write the vast majority of this story on my phone over my lunch hour. So, I’ve decided to stop replying to every review. From now on, I’ll only reply if you have a question, or if there’s something else specific in the review that I think needs replying to.

But please know this: I cherish every single review I get. I mean that.

Now, as for the story. Holy shit! Can you believe it? Edward finally seemed like he was on the right path, and some jerk comes in and screws it all up for him. What do you think is going to happen now? Poor Edward. I have a feeling he might be meeting Aro again one day. Soon.

The Man in the Long Black Coat, Chapter Thirteen

Edward leapt from a rocky outcrop onto his victim's back. He sunk his teeth deeply into its neck and wrestled it to the ground. Blood gushed. He tried to wrap his lips around the wound as the beast flailed, but couldn't do it.

"How do you deal with the fur?" he asked, the front of his shirt now covered in blood. He spat and picked bits of hair from his teeth "It's disgusting, and it makes feeding quite messy."

Jasper laughed. Edward eyed him cautiously.

"I'd forgotten how difficult the mechanics of it can be for a newcomer," Jasper said. He bent over the mountain lion's body, now twitching.

"Here. Do it like this."

He flipped the animal over and bit into the other side of its neck. The blood only oozed now. He showed Edward how to drain the animal by opening the wound more and leaning over so any extra didn’t get on his clothes.

"It doesn't taste very good, either," Edward said.

"One of the sacrifices we make," Jasper replied. "But in the end, it's worth it." He stood and brushed debris from his knees.

"I have a hard time seeing how," Edward said, disgust creeping into his voice. "If it weren't for the Volturi, if it weren’t for Bella, I wouldn't even consider this an option."

"Do you really despise mankind that much, Edward?"

"Mankind? Mankind did this to me!" he screamed, surprising himself with the level of his anger. He pulled his coat tightly around him and turned away, taking a cigarette from his pocket and wishing he hadn’t said anything.

"I've never met another vampire who smoked," Jasper said, apparently realizing a change of subject was a good idea.

"Old habits die hard," Edward said, laughing. He paused. "The truth is, it's the only human part of me left. I don't want to give that up."

He studied the tip of his cigarette and thought for a moment. Was his killing of humans simply a habit, too? Or was it an addiction? He wasn’t sure. He had been doing it for so long, the very asking of the question seemed like an academic exercise, not something that could have real-world consequences.

"We should get back," Jasper said. They began walking. “You’re doing great, you know."

“By what standard? By not having killed anyone in more than two weeks? The temptation hasn't gone away, I assure you."

"Nor has mine. Not a day has gone by since Alice found me more than sixty years ago that I haven't thought about what I'm missing." He stopped and smiled. "Speaking of Alice."

Alice stood outside the cabin and greeted them with a smile. She looked at Edward's bloody clothes and laughed.

"Give me that." She began pulling his coat from his shoulders. "The shirt too. Come on. Off with it. I'll get these in the laundry."

Edward walked into the cabin wearing only his black jeans and steel-toed boots. He watched Jasper and Alice go up the stairs and saw Bella sitting at the kitchen table. She was eating. He ran his hand through his hair, crossed his arms, and leaned against a wall, studying her.

She was quite beautiful, he thought. He remembered thinking the same thoughts the night he'd first seen her. How her skin seemed to glow. How her hair covered half her face, deepening the mystery.

"I can tell you're watching me, you know."

Edward smiled.

"How did it go?" she asked. She looked at his naked torso, pushed her plate away, and got up from the table with a wicked grin on her face.

"From the looks of you," she said, grabbing a napkin and approaching him to wipe a spot of blood from his chest, "you had dinner, too."

She smiled, but didn't remove her hand.

"It went as well as can be expected," Edward said. "But I'm not sure I can do this.”

"Why is it so hard for you?"

"I never wanted to be a killer, Bella." He put his hand on hers, feeling the warmth on his chest. "But it's all I've known for nearly a hundred years. It is who I am. I'm afraid it's who I'll always be."

She pushed him away. Pulled a pack of cigarettes from her pocket. Walked onto the porch.

Edward followed.

"Do you really think everyone is bad, like you said the night we first came here?"

"I do. Everything I've seen has convinced me. Name another species not only capable of destroying the planet, but one that seems intent on doing so one individual at a time."

"What about me?” Bella said. “Am I bad?"

Edward hesitated. He had forced himself not to confront this question. A minute passed. Bella sat on the steps and smoked. He sat beside her.

"I honestly don't know," he finally said. "Perhaps that's why I find you so irresistible."

She crushed her butt on the bottom step and flicked it away, watching it arc into the air before crashing into the ground.

“I'm irresistible, huh?” she said, smiling and bumping an elbow into his exposed ribs. Edward flinched. She did it again. He flinched again.

“Are vampires ticklish?” She reached across his body and squeezed his ribs. He jerked away. “Oh my god. You are ticklish!” She plunged her hand under his arm.

“Stop,” Edward said through his laughter. He bent forward, trying to squirm away. He clamped his arm down on her hand and held it still, careful not to hurt her. But he was still smiling.

Bella caught her breath. She reached out and kissed Edward on the lips. He started to pull back, surprised, but she put her hands behind his neck. He returned her kiss, surprised again. Bella parted her lips slightly, and Edward broke away. He put his arms around her and pulled her closer. He didn't want to acknowledge that he liked it. At least not out loud, so he said nothing.

“I find you kind of irresistible, too,” Bella said, pulling back so she could look into his eyes, now the golden brown color of an animal feeder. “I don’t know what it is. You're unlike anyone I've met. Unlike anyone I've ever dreamed of. People are so fake, Edward. They cheat and they lie and they pretend they're good. They act like they're god's fucking gift to the world. Not you. Other than Charlie, you're the first honest man I've ever known."

"I am none of those things, Bella." He stood. "I’m a killer. I’m a monster who you'd be better off without."

"That's not gonna happen."

"Why? Why do you insist on being around me?"

"Because you inspire me, Edward. That first night? I saw in you the person I wanted to be. I saw your strength. Your confidence."

He shook his head. "That makes no sense, Bella. I'd just killed Mike Newton. You were angry. You tried to run from me, as you should have. You screamed for help."

She bit her lip. Edward longed to kiss it again, but he turned away. She put her hand on his shoulder and forced him to turn back around.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you, Edward. Mike was sort-of dating my friend Jessica. The only friend I’d made, really, since coming to Forks.” She lit another cigarette. “I never liked him, but I didn’t know why. Then, a couple months ago, I overheard them fighting. I stayed back and listened. I figured it was none of my business. Until I caught him hitting her.

“I couldn’t help myself. I attacked him. The truth is, I beat the shit out of him.” She laughed. “I told him if he ever did it again, I would kill him. And I meant it.”

“But you seemed devastated when you’d found out I killed him, Bella.  You were pissed. You screamed about him being a nice guy.”

“I was there that night to kill him, Edward. It was going to be my last act before I left town. I’d run into Jessica earlier that day. I could tell something was bothering her. I finally got the truth. Mike was still beating on her. She tried to make excuses for him. She said she loved him. It was the same crap I heard from Renee all those years. I couldn’t take it anymore. I guess I snapped.

“But, yeah, I was also scared shitless when I saw you there. You were looking at me like you wanted to eat me, blood on your face, your eyes glowing red. What was I supposed to say? I was scared of you and I was drawn to you at the same time.”

She circled her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. “And now I have you,” she said, hugging him tighter. "We just need to figure out how to handle this. How to handle us. How we can be together."

Edward tensed up. He knew he needed to do something. He couldn’t condemn Bella to a life with him. To a life with a monster. He cared about her too much for that.

He braced himself for the lie he was about to tell. It would be the most unselfish act he'd committed since he was turned so long ago. He broke their embrace. 

"There is no us, Bella,” he said, “and there never will be. Get that through your thick skull. I am a vampire. I could kill you at any moment. I have come close already. You are in mortal danger anytime you're near me. You'd be better off with protection from the Cullens.

“And what about Charlie? He's worried about you. Staying out late every night, never telling him where you've been. Besides," he said, taking a deep breath, "I don't want you, anyway. I don't want any of this."

He stormed off toward the woods. He heard Bella calling after him, but he paid her no mind. He knew it was best this way. He would leave the Cullens, for her sake. The civilized vampires could deal with the Volturi for her. Aro and his minions would probably catch up with him, eventually. But it was a price he was willing to pay if it kept Bella safe.

As he headed into town to do the inevitable, to kill one last time before going on the run, he heard Alice's high-pitched shriek: "Oh no. This changes everything."

He picked up his pace. At this late hour, he knew, most of Forks would be closed up and silent. He wasn't sure where he'd be able to find a victim.

The gas station, he thought. Where it all started. It was staffed twenty four hours a day.

He headed for the highway, ignoring the inner voice that was telling him to stop and turn back. That he was about to throw away everything. His head told him this was the right thing to do, despite what his heart felt.

When he reached the road, he slowed down. It was one thing to vow to return to his true nature. But drawing unnecessary attention by blasting past speeding cars was quite another. Whoever was clerking tonight would wait.

He walked down the center of the road, determined. His steel-toed boots clomped one after another on the double yellow line. He reached for his cigarettes and realized that he was still shirtless and without his coat. No matter, he thought. I won't be needing them anyway. The Volturi would catch him and do what they did. There was little use in pretending anymore.

The gas station's fluorescent glow stood just ahead. Edward moved to the side of the road and approached, his mind set.

"Wait. Please don't." Bella stood before him, flanked by Alice and Jasper. "Alice saw this, Edward. But it doesn't have to be this way. You can change. People change all the time."

Edward felt his anger brewing.

"You don't want to do this. Not now. Not when you're so close," Jasper said. He moved closer.

A calm overtook Edward that he couldn't explain. He probed Jasper's mind for a clue.

"Do not use your trickery on me," he said. "I've made up my mind."

"It's ok," Bella said. "We're here to help you."

"Dammit! I don't want your help. Leave me alone. I need to do this. It’s who I am, and nothing can change that."

"If that's what you really believe," Bella said, edging closer, looking him directly in the eyes, "then go into that gas station right now and do whatever you're going to do.

"But know this: If you do, you’ll only be proving you’re not the man I thought you were, Edward. It's your choice."

-30-

A/N Can’t you just picture Edward with mountain lion fur in his teeth? The image cracks me up. And Bella? Jeez, who knew she was even more badass than we thought? I’m a little scared of her. But I’m glad she finally kissed him. It took her long enough. But things are rough for Edward, that’s for sure. He wants to do the right thing, but how does he figure out what that is?

I hope you like what I’m doing with this story. I wish I could update more than once a week, but the full-time job, the kids, the house, the lawn, blah blah etc. Anyway, if you like it, please leave a review. It’ll make me feel like all the hard work is worth it. ;)

Finally, MazzyStarla’s ideas are as important to this story as Bella’s bad attitude is. She’s an awesome beta.