The Man in the Long Black Coat, Chapter Thirteen

Edward leapt from a rocky outcrop onto his victim's back. He sunk his teeth deeply into its neck and wrestled it to the ground. Blood gushed. He tried to wrap his lips around the wound as the beast flailed, but couldn't do it.

"How do you deal with the fur?" he asked, the front of his shirt now covered in blood. He spat and picked bits of hair from his teeth "It's disgusting, and it makes feeding quite messy."

Jasper laughed. Edward eyed him cautiously.

"I'd forgotten how difficult the mechanics of it can be for a newcomer," Jasper said. He bent over the mountain lion's body, now twitching.

"Here. Do it like this."

He flipped the animal over and bit into the other side of its neck. The blood only oozed now. He showed Edward how to drain the animal by opening the wound more and leaning over so any extra didn’t get on his clothes.

"It doesn't taste very good, either," Edward said.

"One of the sacrifices we make," Jasper replied. "But in the end, it's worth it." He stood and brushed debris from his knees.

"I have a hard time seeing how," Edward said, disgust creeping into his voice. "If it weren't for the Volturi, if it weren’t for Bella, I wouldn't even consider this an option."

"Do you really despise mankind that much, Edward?"

"Mankind? Mankind did this to me!" he screamed, surprising himself with the level of his anger. He pulled his coat tightly around him and turned away, taking a cigarette from his pocket and wishing he hadn’t said anything.

"I've never met another vampire who smoked," Jasper said, apparently realizing a change of subject was a good idea.

"Old habits die hard," Edward said, laughing. He paused. "The truth is, it's the only human part of me left. I don't want to give that up."

He studied the tip of his cigarette and thought for a moment. Was his killing of humans simply a habit, too? Or was it an addiction? He wasn’t sure. He had been doing it for so long, the very asking of the question seemed like an academic exercise, not something that could have real-world consequences.

"We should get back," Jasper said. They began walking. “You’re doing great, you know."

“By what standard? By not having killed anyone in more than two weeks? The temptation hasn't gone away, I assure you."

"Nor has mine. Not a day has gone by since Alice found me more than sixty years ago that I haven't thought about what I'm missing." He stopped and smiled. "Speaking of Alice."

Alice stood outside the cabin and greeted them with a smile. She looked at Edward's bloody clothes and laughed.

"Give me that." She began pulling his coat from his shoulders. "The shirt too. Come on. Off with it. I'll get these in the laundry."

Edward walked into the cabin wearing only his black jeans and steel-toed boots. He watched Jasper and Alice go up the stairs and saw Bella sitting at the kitchen table. She was eating. He ran his hand through his hair, crossed his arms, and leaned against a wall, studying her.

She was quite beautiful, he thought. He remembered thinking the same thoughts the night he'd first seen her. How her skin seemed to glow. How her hair covered half her face, deepening the mystery.

"I can tell you're watching me, you know."

Edward smiled.

"How did it go?" she asked. She looked at his naked torso, pushed her plate away, and got up from the table with a wicked grin on her face.

"From the looks of you," she said, grabbing a napkin and approaching him to wipe a spot of blood from his chest, "you had dinner, too."

She smiled, but didn't remove her hand.

"It went as well as can be expected," Edward said. "But I'm not sure I can do this.”

"Why is it so hard for you?"

"I never wanted to be a killer, Bella." He put his hand on hers, feeling the warmth on his chest. "But it's all I've known for nearly a hundred years. It is who I am. I'm afraid it's who I'll always be."

She pushed him away. Pulled a pack of cigarettes from her pocket. Walked onto the porch.

Edward followed.

"Do you really think everyone is bad, like you said the night we first came here?"

"I do. Everything I've seen has convinced me. Name another species not only capable of destroying the planet, but one that seems intent on doing so one individual at a time."

"What about me?” Bella said. “Am I bad?"

Edward hesitated. He had forced himself not to confront this question. A minute passed. Bella sat on the steps and smoked. He sat beside her.

"I honestly don't know," he finally said. "Perhaps that's why I find you so irresistible."

She crushed her butt on the bottom step and flicked it away, watching it arc into the air before crashing into the ground.

“I'm irresistible, huh?” she said, smiling and bumping an elbow into his exposed ribs. Edward flinched. She did it again. He flinched again.

“Are vampires ticklish?” She reached across his body and squeezed his ribs. He jerked away. “Oh my god. You are ticklish!” She plunged her hand under his arm.

“Stop,” Edward said through his laughter. He bent forward, trying to squirm away. He clamped his arm down on her hand and held it still, careful not to hurt her. But he was still smiling.

Bella caught her breath. She reached out and kissed Edward on the lips. He started to pull back, surprised, but she put her hands behind his neck. He returned her kiss, surprised again. Bella parted her lips slightly, and Edward broke away. He put his arms around her and pulled her closer. He didn't want to acknowledge that he liked it. At least not out loud, so he said nothing.

“I find you kind of irresistible, too,” Bella said, pulling back so she could look into his eyes, now the golden brown color of an animal feeder. “I don’t know what it is. You're unlike anyone I've met. Unlike anyone I've ever dreamed of. People are so fake, Edward. They cheat and they lie and they pretend they're good. They act like they're god's fucking gift to the world. Not you. Other than Charlie, you're the first honest man I've ever known."

"I am none of those things, Bella." He stood. "I’m a killer. I’m a monster who you'd be better off without."

"That's not gonna happen."

"Why? Why do you insist on being around me?"

"Because you inspire me, Edward. That first night? I saw in you the person I wanted to be. I saw your strength. Your confidence."

He shook his head. "That makes no sense, Bella. I'd just killed Mike Newton. You were angry. You tried to run from me, as you should have. You screamed for help."

She bit her lip. Edward longed to kiss it again, but he turned away. She put her hand on his shoulder and forced him to turn back around.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you, Edward. Mike was sort-of dating my friend Jessica. The only friend I’d made, really, since coming to Forks.” She lit another cigarette. “I never liked him, but I didn’t know why. Then, a couple months ago, I overheard them fighting. I stayed back and listened. I figured it was none of my business. Until I caught him hitting her.

“I couldn’t help myself. I attacked him. The truth is, I beat the shit out of him.” She laughed. “I told him if he ever did it again, I would kill him. And I meant it.”

“But you seemed devastated when you’d found out I killed him, Bella.  You were pissed. You screamed about him being a nice guy.”

“I was there that night to kill him, Edward. It was going to be my last act before I left town. I’d run into Jessica earlier that day. I could tell something was bothering her. I finally got the truth. Mike was still beating on her. She tried to make excuses for him. She said she loved him. It was the same crap I heard from Renee all those years. I couldn’t take it anymore. I guess I snapped.

“But, yeah, I was also scared shitless when I saw you there. You were looking at me like you wanted to eat me, blood on your face, your eyes glowing red. What was I supposed to say? I was scared of you and I was drawn to you at the same time.”

She circled her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. “And now I have you,” she said, hugging him tighter. "We just need to figure out how to handle this. How to handle us. How we can be together."

Edward tensed up. He knew he needed to do something. He couldn’t condemn Bella to a life with him. To a life with a monster. He cared about her too much for that.

He braced himself for the lie he was about to tell. It would be the most unselfish act he'd committed since he was turned so long ago. He broke their embrace. 

"There is no us, Bella,” he said, “and there never will be. Get that through your thick skull. I am a vampire. I could kill you at any moment. I have come close already. You are in mortal danger anytime you're near me. You'd be better off with protection from the Cullens.

“And what about Charlie? He's worried about you. Staying out late every night, never telling him where you've been. Besides," he said, taking a deep breath, "I don't want you, anyway. I don't want any of this."

He stormed off toward the woods. He heard Bella calling after him, but he paid her no mind. He knew it was best this way. He would leave the Cullens, for her sake. The civilized vampires could deal with the Volturi for her. Aro and his minions would probably catch up with him, eventually. But it was a price he was willing to pay if it kept Bella safe.

As he headed into town to do the inevitable, to kill one last time before going on the run, he heard Alice's high-pitched shriek: "Oh no. This changes everything."

He picked up his pace. At this late hour, he knew, most of Forks would be closed up and silent. He wasn't sure where he'd be able to find a victim.

The gas station, he thought. Where it all started. It was staffed twenty four hours a day.

He headed for the highway, ignoring the inner voice that was telling him to stop and turn back. That he was about to throw away everything. His head told him this was the right thing to do, despite what his heart felt.

When he reached the road, he slowed down. It was one thing to vow to return to his true nature. But drawing unnecessary attention by blasting past speeding cars was quite another. Whoever was clerking tonight would wait.

He walked down the center of the road, determined. His steel-toed boots clomped one after another on the double yellow line. He reached for his cigarettes and realized that he was still shirtless and without his coat. No matter, he thought. I won't be needing them anyway. The Volturi would catch him and do what they did. There was little use in pretending anymore.

The gas station's fluorescent glow stood just ahead. Edward moved to the side of the road and approached, his mind set.

"Wait. Please don't." Bella stood before him, flanked by Alice and Jasper. "Alice saw this, Edward. But it doesn't have to be this way. You can change. People change all the time."

Edward felt his anger brewing.

"You don't want to do this. Not now. Not when you're so close," Jasper said. He moved closer.

A calm overtook Edward that he couldn't explain. He probed Jasper's mind for a clue.

"Do not use your trickery on me," he said. "I've made up my mind."

"It's ok," Bella said. "We're here to help you."

"Dammit! I don't want your help. Leave me alone. I need to do this. It’s who I am, and nothing can change that."

"If that's what you really believe," Bella said, edging closer, looking him directly in the eyes, "then go into that gas station right now and do whatever you're going to do.

"But know this: If you do, you’ll only be proving you’re not the man I thought you were, Edward. It's your choice."

-30-

A/N Can’t you just picture Edward with mountain lion fur in his teeth? The image cracks me up. And Bella? Jeez, who knew she was even more badass than we thought? I’m a little scared of her. But I’m glad she finally kissed him. It took her long enough. But things are rough for Edward, that’s for sure. He wants to do the right thing, but how does he figure out what that is?

I hope you like what I’m doing with this story. I wish I could update more than once a week, but the full-time job, the kids, the house, the lawn, blah blah etc. Anyway, if you like it, please leave a review. It’ll make me feel like all the hard work is worth it. ;)

Finally, MazzyStarla’s ideas are as important to this story as Bella’s bad attitude is. She’s an awesome beta.

The Man in the Long Black Coat, Chapter Twelve

"Charlie's working late tonight. Let's go outside."

Bella took Edward's hand and led him out of her room and down the stairs. It was the first time he'd seen any other part of the house. The sparseness of it surprised him. It was worse than he'd imagined, judging by Charlie's thoughts. It looked like a bachelor pad. There was no sign that Bella had been staying there for almost a year. She was a ghost.

Edward squinted into the setting sun as she led him through the kitchen and onto the balcony.

"You want anything? Coffee? Water? Whatever?"

"I don't do that."

"Do what? Drink?" She laughed. "Tell that to Mike Newton."

Edward took his smokes from his pocket. Fired up the Zippo. Bella pulled the lit cigarette from his mouth. She took a deep drag and sat down on the thick rug that covered the floor, crossing her legs and kicking off her shoes.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be terrorizing a squirrel or something?"

"Why do you mock me?"

"I'm just messing with you.” She lost her smile and shook her head. “I guess it's a defense mechanism or whatever. Draws attention away from me. I'm sorry."

She smoked some more, studied the ash at the tip of her cigarette.

"I'm glad you came. I missed you,” she said. “Maybe some day, you won’t have to come in through my bedroom window." She motioned for him to sit with her. He did, lighting another cigarette.

"It's hard, going almost a whole day without you," she said. "I feel like part of me's been missing. Does that make any sense?"

Edward didn't answer. He didn't want to. But he knew exactly what she was talking about.

"When do the fireworks start?" he said. He never understood the fascination with fireworks every July fourth.

"Usually right after dark." She peered into the twilight. "Probably soon."

They smoked together, and Bella laid her head on Edward's shoulder.

"Do you ever wish you could start over? Hit reset? Like if life were a video game or something?"

"I make it a point not to wish for anything," he said. "It prevents disappointment."

The first of the fireworks floated overhead. It burst into a rainbow of colors, each one more radiant than the last. The boom followed. Edward felt Bella flinch when the concussion reached them a full second later.

"I don't know if I can do this," he said. "It’s not just the animal thing, which will be difficult enough, if not impossible. But I saw things, Bella. In Carlisle’s mind.”

He stopped. He ran one hand over the scar on his cheek and tried to avoid thinking of that day, without success. He was so absorbed in his past that he didn’t notice his cigarette had burned down to his fingers.

Bella took the butt from his hand and flicked it over the side of the balcony. She put her arm over his shoulder. “You OK?”

Edward shrugged. “Of course.” He put his arm around her waist and faked a smile, looking into the sky as the fireworks kept coming. Bella flinched with each concussion. Edward hugged her tighter.

"Loud noises. I can't handle them anymore," Bella said. "I'm fine if I'm the one firing the gun. I have the power. I’m in control.” She stood up and went to the railing, leaning over the side and peering into the woods.

"Charlie taught me to shoot when I was a little girl. I was good at it, as you've seen." She laughed. "I could hit a Coke can from fifty yards. Every summer, I’d stay here with Charlie. He’d make sure to take me to the police gun range. All the cops called me the little sharpshooter.

“But now? I can’t hear a car backfire or the lid of a dumpster get slammed without freaking out."

Edward stood and went to her. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, placing his chin on her shoulder. He inhaled, and for the first time, he was struck not with a desire to bite into her neck, but to hug her even closer.

"I should have killed the bastard when I had the chance," Bella said. "But every time I tried to stop him, it got worse for her. It was like my presence made her life even more miserable."

She turned around to face him. "I was twelve when I first started hurting myself."

Their faces were inches apart. She draped her arms around his neck and leaned her forehead against his chin. They stood like that as the fireworks flew overhead. Boom, flinch. Boom, flinch.

“Charlie and Renee weren’t supposed to be together. That much was clear from the beginning, I gather. She was a waitress here in town. Dad was a cop, of course. A Desert Storm vet. But mom was flighty. She craved adventure. And she always hated Forks. The clouds, the rain. She never shut up about it, even years after we left.

“I was still a baby when they divorced. I guess it hit Charlie pretty hard, but there wasn’t much he could do. Renee had a mind of her own.” She laughed. “Just like her daughter.”

She reached into Edward’s pocket and withdrew another cigarette.

“We bounced around Southern California, mostly,” she said, lighting it. “From one town to another, one guy to another. Until she met Phil.”

She blew smoke into the air and shook her head, watching the cloud dissipate like the remnants of the fireworks above.

“He was a baseball player on the triple-A team in Phoenix. He always thought he was going to get called up to the big leagues, but it never happened.

“It pissed him off. He’d take it out on Renee. At first, he was just a dick. Bitching about dinner, the messy house, the clothes she wore. Whatever. But he was drinking more, probably doing steroids, and he started hitting her. I remember laying in my bed late at night, hearing her scream. I didn’t know what to do.

“Renee always denied it whenever I’d bring it up. She’d say the bruises were because she was clumsy. The black eyes because she ran into a wall. The broken arm because she tripped down the stairs. I tried to believe her. I wanted to believe her. I loved her, Edward. But I didn't know what to do.

"Phil said if I ever told anybody, he'd kill her.

"So I never did tell anyone. Not even Charlie. I thought I was protecting her."

The fireworks were over. Smoke drifted in the air high above on a rare cloudless night in Forks. Edward heard the drone of crickets in the forest, the creaking of the old house, Bella’s quiet breathing.

“Let’s go inside,” Edward said, reaching for her. She took his hand and let him lead her into the house. They sat on the sofa, still holding hands. Bella began to cry.

“It’s not your fault,” he said. “You were a child, Bella. There was nothing you could do.”

She wiped her tears and looked into his eyes.

“That’s a crock of shit. I could have told. I should have told.

“At first, I tried to stop him. I’d call out to Renee when I heard them fighting, pretending I had a bad dream, or that I needed a glass of water. Whatever would get her away from him.

“But that didn’t last long. He caught on, I guess, or she did, because she started ignoring my cries. So I got bolder. I’d walk into the room and interrupt him beating on her. That worked for a while, too. I was so proud of myself. I thought I’d finally fixed it. Thought everything was going to be OK.”

She shook her head. “But I didn’t accomplish anything. I was so stupid.

“As Phil’s career started to tank, the beatings got worse. More frequent. I remember once, I came home from school and Phil was home by himself, drinking beer and watching the playoffs on TV. I asked where my mom was, but he didn’t respond. ‘Where’s Renee, you piece of shit?’ I screamed, right in his face.” She laughed at the memory. “I was fifteen years old. He pushed me away as if I were some bug who’d been bothering him.

“I found her in bed, passed out and bleeding. Her whole face was black and blue. I got her a washcloth, ice, Tylenol. I begged her to leave him. I mean I got down on my hands and knees and fucking begged her, but she said she couldn’t do it. ‘How would I take care of you?’ she said.”

Bella rose from the sofa and began pacing the floor.

“So it was my fault. All of it. Every time he hit her, it was because of me. She wouldn’t leave him because she wouldn’t be able to take care of me without him, without his salary.”

Edward went to her. He folded his arms around her and let her cry on his shoulder. “It’s OK,” he whispered. “The world is full of evil, Bella. It’s not your fault.”

“Stop saying that,” she said, breaking free of his arms. “Don’t you think I know that now? You helped me see the truth, Edward. You made me stop being that weak little girl I used to be and grow some fucking balls.

"I spent years blaming myself. I spent years punishing myself. It started small. I’d dig my nails into my own skin. The pain made me feel alive. It felt like punishment. Like something I deserved. I moved on. Nail clippers. Scissors. Razors.”

She pulled her shirt up over her head. Unbuttoned her pants and let them drop to the floor.

Edward gasped. Virtually her entire body was covered in scars.

“Now do you see why I greeted Jasper like he was my long-lost brother?” she said. “Because he is, Edward. I don’t know where all his scars came from --”

“He was a soldier of some kind,” Edward said.

“Yeah, well, whatever. And it’s why I feel so connected to you, too.” She approached him again and softly ran her hand over his cheek. “This might be the only scar I can see on your perfect body, but it’s obvious you’ve got a million of them on the inside, Edward. You’re as fucked up as I am.”

He put his arms around her again. “Did he finally kill her? Is that why you came here, to live with Charlie again?”

“I was working. It was last summer. I was supposed to be starting my senior year in Phoenix. I was going to finish up, get the hell out of there, and never look back.

“I came home late, like I always did. I liked working the night shift because Renee and Phil were usually in bed when I got home. I was in school all day, so I rarely saw them.

“But I heard arguing as I pulled into the driveway. I thought about just sleeping in my car, or driving to a friend’s house. I should’ve, but I didn’t. I went in, and they were screaming at each other. Mom had a huge frying pan in her hand, trying to keep Phil away. I tried to get in between them, but Phil knocked me over and went after her.

“So I went for his gun. He didn’t know I knew about it. I always told myself I would never use it.”

She stopped talking. “I need a cigarette.” She pulled one from Edward’s coat and lit up, walking back outside. The night had grown cool, despite it being July. Edward removed his coat and placed it on her still naked shoulders.

“He laughed at me. Dared me to pull the trigger. I tried, Edward. I really tried. But I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have it in me. I chickened out. I was too weak."

She sat on the ground again, Edward’s long coat bunched around her.

“He took the gun away from me. I didn’t even try to stop him. He pulled it out of my hand like I wasn’t even there. He fired it into the wall. BANG! Just to show me it was loaded. Like he was rubbing it in my face."

Edward sat down next to her. He took the cigarette from her limp hand and crushed the ash between his thumb and forefinger, put the butt into the pocket of his coat.

“Why do you do that? Hide the butts like that?”

“DNA. Fingerprints. Technology that hasn’t been invented yet,” he said. “I’m in the database. Have been for decades. The last thing I need is for some smart cop --” he looked toward her house -- “to figure out who I am.”

She chuckled, looking up into his face. “And who are you, Edward Masen? Who are you really?”

He laughed. “I’m a dangerous, vile vampire, Miss Swan. I'm the bad guy. That’s all you need to know.”

“For now,” she said.

“Yes. For now.”

They smoked in silence, waiting for Charlie’s police cruiser to pull into the driveway.

“I left after that,” she said. “Came here to live with Charlie. I thought my not being there anymore would keep her safe. Maybe even give her an excuse to finally leave him.

“But he killed her a week later. He shot her in the head, then killed himself. I never found out exactly what happened.

“Charlie wouldn’t let me drop out of school. Not until I was eighteen. So I waited. I was actually on my way out of town. I stopped at the convenience store to tell Mike to go fuck himself, the asshole.

“But then you showed up,” she said, “and everything changed.”

-30-

A/N Well that was intense. Sorry if it was too angsty and talky, but you had to know it was coming. You don't end up like my Bella because life has been easy.

Once again, hugs and kisses to MazzyStarla for saving me from myself. Her insight in this chapter saved me from the stupid.

Lastly, I want to offer my sincere thanks to everyone who's reviewed, faved, and followed. Feedback on my writing is like crack to me, and I'm severely addicted. :)

The Man in the Long Black Coat Chapter Eleven

Edward pulled at the lapels of his long black coat. He stowed the few items he owned into its deep pockets. His cigarettes, the Zippo, the cell phone only Bella had the number to.

His fingers brushed the chain he kept in his pocket, which made him remember his first night in town, only a couple of weeks ago. He was sad to realize that he’d already spent his last night in Forks.

He waited for Charlie to drive away and knocked firmly on Bella’s front door.

"I thought I should at least say goodbye before I left," he said when she opened the door. He didn't want to give her a chance to reply, so he continued quickly.

"Thank you for what you did for me. But it has put you in danger. You will always be in danger. And for that, I offer my sincere apologies. But this family. The Cullens. They will protect you. They mean what they say, Bella. I believe you can trust them."

He breathed in unconsciously, and quickly realized it would be the last time he inhaled her luscious scent.

“But I can’t do what they’ve asked,” he said, hanging his head. “It’s not in my nature.”

She stepped onto the porch and closed the door behind her. "Are you through? Because if you came here for a pity party, you should get the hell out."

Edward took a step back.

"Seriously, Edward. Be a man. You're such a tough guy on the outside, but I swear you're nothing but a little girl deep down sometimes."

She took another step toward him, further onto the porch, and placed a hand on his arm.

"You can do this," she said. She squeezed his arm, ran her fingers down the length of it. "You're the strongest man I've ever known Edward. The fact that you’re here and I’m still alive tells me that.” She laughed. “If those people can learn how to suck on a deer’s tit, why not you?"

He laughed. “You want the truth? I don't want to go. But I have no choice."

He sighed. "I lived like they do, briefly and long ago. That’s when I discovered that there is something inside me. Something wicked. Something I can’t control.

"You're the only reason I haven't left yet. A smarter man would have been gone before Felix's arrival. Would have seen it coming."

He turned toward the forest, shrouded in morning fog.

"I told myself I would come here. I would tell you goodbye, as a courtesy. I would walk out of town the same way I came in. I would set up in another town, as I always do. I would avoid the Cullens, hide from the Volturi. It would not be an easy life, but it would be one I know I'm capable of. One I have lived successfully for a long time."

He turned back around and covered the space between him and her in one step. He reached for her, put his hand on her cheek. She leaned into it and edged closer to him.

"But I'm torn, now, seeing you here. I don't think I'm strong enough to go. Somehow, it doesn’t matter that it would be the best for everybody. I can't leave you, Bella. Please forgive me for that."

She leaned forward as if to kiss him, but Edward drew back.

“No,” he said. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "I can't. Not now.

"If I am to stay, I must go find this cabin," he said. "Cult, family, or misguided coven, I have no choice but to let the Cullens help."

He leapt off the porch and ran for the woods. He stopped a hundred yards in. He would head for the Cullens' cabin. He could pretend to try living their lifestyle for month. It would be that much longer he'd have with Bella. That much longer until he had to give her up for good.

He walked slowly to give himself time to think. But he sensed someone nearby. A member of the Volturi guard, he was sure. Spying on him. Maybe here to kill him, despite the so-called truce with the Cullens. The Volturi couldn't be trusted to honor any agreement.

He scanned for a mind to read. There. His stalker. Whoever it was anticipated Edward’s every move. Saw several steps in advance. He thought like a military man planning an ambush.

He was good, this stalker of his.

Edward stopped walking. He waited. He heard leaves rustling behind him. He stepped from behind a tree, and Bella stood before him.

He put his finger to her lips and motioned further into the forest. “Someone’s shadowing me,” he whispered. “You shouldn’t be here. But now that you are, stay close.”

She nodded and mouthed “OK.”

He began walking, looking over his shoulder to be sure Bella stayed with him.

His shadow was just up ahead.

“Edward. Bella.”

It was the scarred one.

“Jasper!” Bella said. She apparently remembered him from their brief meeting in the woods the day before. She ran up to him, and the man clearly didn’t know what to do. Edward nearly laughed as the vampire put his arms out as if he were warding off a demon. He looked enormously uncomfortable.

“It’s so good to see you,” Bella said, stopping before she embraced him, which clearly had been her plan. She nodded toward Edward, rolling her eyes. “This one needs your help. He needs a lot of your help. Typical tough guy. Can’t cope when it comes change. Blah blah etcetera.”

“Yes. Well. I may know a thing or two about that myself,” Jasper said. “Come. It’s not far.”

They entered the cabin and Edward was taken aback by its size. It was more of a summer home for the wealthy than a cabin in the woods.

“We have a few like this, scattered about the country,” Carlisle said as he walked down a sweeping staircase.

“Sit,” he said, motioning toward the sofa. “Please.”

Edward guided Bella to the end, as far away from these vamps as possible. He did not like the idea of her in a room with so many dangerous creatures.

Bella reached for Edward’s hand, and he let her take it. She intertwined their fingers and cleared her throat.

“Just so you know,” she said, looking at Carlisle. “This is a package deal.”

“It’ll have to be,” Alice said as she entered the room. “Demetri has already told Aro about you, Bella. You’ll need our protection.”

Bella smiled wide and gripped Edward’s hand more tightly.

“We should give Edward and Jasper a moment alone,” Carlisle said. Clearly, this had been the plan all along.

Edward looked to Bella and unconsciously turned his body in front of hers.

“It’s OK, silly,” Alice said. “She’ll be fine. I’ll take good care of her.” She reached for Bella’s hand.

“If you touch one hair on her --”

“Chill out, Edward,” Bella interrupted. “I know things about people. I picked you, didn’t I? Alice is good people. I may have met her only yesterday, but I trust her. I know who I should be afraid of and who I shouldn’t. It’s OK.”

He watched them leave, fidgeting in his seat.

“I don’t know how you do it,” Jasper said, now that it was just he and Edward. His accent hinted at southern roots.

“Do what?” Edward said.

“Remain in contact with a human without ravaging her.”

“It’s not easy,” Edward said. “But there 's something special about this girl, about Bella. I find the smell of her blood almost irresistible, but it's more than that. It's almost as if she sings to me in notes only I can understand, if that makes any sense.”

Jasper smiled.

“So you’re a rogue,” he said. It was not a question. Edward nodded. “Used to be one myself,” Jasper continued. “I traveled mostly the south, Texas, Mexico, that sort of thing. Until I found Alice, or she found me. When we found Carlisle, everything changed.”

Edward said nothing.

“It’s not an easy life,” Jasper said. He waited for a response, but got none.

“I struggled. I’m still struggling. But it’s worth it. I don't have to experience the pain anymore. The guilt.”

Edward shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He probed Jasper’s thoughts. He saw a battlefield, perhaps the Civil War. Bloodshed. A woman, the name Maria. Countless victims, many of them newborn vampires. He sensed that Jasper's sorrow ran deep.

“Listen,” Jasper said, interrupting Edward. “I know this sounds like a bunch of horseshit. I wasn’t sure myself. But believe me, if I can do this, anyone can.”

Edward had heard speeches like this before. He was becoming disgusted, angry. Do-gooders like this bunch acted as if one man's pain were transferable to another. As if one man's story of torture made any difference to another man. We all suffer on our own, he thought. That's the way the world really worked.

“Do not pretend we’re brothers,” he said. He stood, and he realized that he’d raised his voice louder than he'd intended. He spoke more softly, but just as firmly. “Don’t pretend you know what I’ve been through. I know you’ve suffered great tragedy, Jasper. We all have. It is the fate of mankind to suffer. But my suffering is as different from yours as night is different from day.

"You can't imagine what it's like to see into a man's mind. To read every vile thought. To see every sickening vision. Every greedy, selfish, egocentric dream he has. It doesn't endear one to mankind as a whole."

He sat back down and scowled. Neither man spoke. Edward used the moment to calm down. No good could come from him getting upset. He was afraid he'd already revealed too much.

“Just what is it you all do, anyway?” he said after a moment, changing the subject. “You travel the world and save humanity from rogues like me? Is that it? You’re vamp rehab.”

“They’re the Superfriends,” Bella said, clomping down the stairs, arm-in-arm with Alice. “At least that’s what it sounded like when Alice just explained it to me.”

Alice gave Jasper a sheepish look.

“This was not going to end well,” she said, smiling, looking back and forth between the two men. “So I thought I’d give it a shot.” She turned to Edward. “We’re not exactly like the Superfriends,” she said. “But it is kind of like that. We try to stop bad things from happening. I see things. They’re not always clear, and they’re not always certain, but if a decision’s been made, I can usually tell where it’s headed from there. In your case? Let’s just say that there was no happily ever after. For you, or for Bella.”

Edward tensed up at hearing Bella’s name. He sighed. “What do you need me to do?”

“Lay off the humans,” Alice said. “Stay with us. If you feel the urge, talk to me. Or Jasper. Or anyone one of us. But maybe not Rosalie. She’s not thrilled to have a human in our midst.”

“She’s gorgeous, but the girl has permanent bitch-face,” Bella said. “I don’t know what her fucking problem is.”

“Rosalie is troubled,” Carlisle said, entering the room, Esme locked on his arm. “She doesn’t believe it is our place to involve a human. When she gets like this, it is impossible to reason with her.”

He smiled and took a seat in the big blue La-Z-Boy in the center of the room. He settled in and propped his hands on his knees. He looked Edward squarely in the eye.

“No man is an island, entire of itself,” he said.

“And every man is a piece of the continent.” Edward finished the sentence for him. “John Donne, 1572 to 1631. Meditation seventeen. I know it well. But what is your point?”

Carlisle smiled. He started to say something, but Edward cut him off.

“Donne was engaging in the wishful thinking of a poet,” Edward said. He rose from his chair and began pacing the room. “He saw the world as it should be, rather than as it really is. The truth is, every man is an island unto himself. That’s reality, Mr. Cullen. That’s the world we all live in. That’s what I must navigate each and every day. Alone, without anyone to back me up.”

“You don’t believe that,” Carlisle said, looking at Bella. “Not anymore.”

Edward looked at Bella too. She was smiling, almost smirking. It was infatuating and infuriating at the same time.

“How did you pick me?” Edward said, taking his eyes away from Bella and turning to Carlisle. “There must be dozens, even hundreds, of others who need your help. Who would welcome your help.”

“We choose,” Carlisle said, “based on who we believe has the worst chance of success. We choose those who need us the most.”

“You choose those who are certain to fail?” Edward laughed. He shook his head. “I’ve been saved by a pack of self-hating vampires! How wonderful.”

There was silence.

“We have had our failures, yes,” Carlisle admitted. “More than a few, if truth be told.” Edward scanned Carlisle’s mind, curious about these failures. He saw a tall, lanky vampire with sandy hair tied back with a piece of leather. He saw a beast, eyes the color of blood, tribal tattoos forming an intricate pattern across his hairless scalp, his savage mouth dripping blood.

Edward gasped.

He stood.

He paced the room and clenched his jaw and tensed his fingers into fists.

Bella went to him. She took his hand in hers and brought it to her face.

“What is it?” she said. “Talk to me, Edward. Maybe I can help.”

“It is nothing,” he said. “Nothing that matters.” He turned back to Carlisle.

“I'll join your coven,” he said. “I can’t guarantee success, but I do pledge to try.”

Alice squeaked in response. “I am so thrilled! You’re going to love it here, Edward. And so will you, Bella.” She worked her way between the two, taking both of their hands in hers.

“I promise.”

-30-

A/N You guys! Bella keeps doing and saying all kinds of crazy shit without my permission. She’s a handful, but she cracks me up. I can hardly keep her under control. And what of Edward? Do you think he’s really going to try? What’s up with his weird response at the end there? Time will tell, I suppose. (insert sinister laugh here)

Mazzy, oh, Mazzy. I do love her so. My wife/beta/bestfriendinthewholewide world MazzyStarla is kicking some major A this week. Just talking with her before I start to write the important bits makes this a better story. I can just shout out, “Hey, what’s Jasper like?” and get a response that changes the way I do things. If you like this even a teensy bit, it’s all her fault. ;)